Pregnant Teen Cancel Title is required

So, a member of my family is now a pregnant teenager. While this is far from ideal, I'm debating whether to mention it to some of my older teens along with a commentary on all of the challenges she now faces. It might open up an opportunity to share my views and hopefully influence them to avoid the same scenario.

I tend to stay away from touchy subjects like this and focus on the importance of education, getting their medical check ups even after 12, etc. I think this is an important subject, but didn't want them to feel badly that I think they might have pre-marital sex or how to even bring the subject up, so this seems like a good opening.

Have any of you written your kids directly about this topic?

I haven't addressed this with my teen because she already seems to have her priorities in order. However I think it is a great oppurtunity to at least mention it and bring up the challenges she'll face.

I do not know the answer to this question but I'd love it if a staff member in particular could weigh in. I'm not sure how much "controversial content" a sponsor is allowed to discuss with a sponsored child or youth.

For that matter, I do not know how much controversy is allowed in something like a book for the sponsored child. There are some books which would be considered appropriate for U.S.A. honors english classes high school, but I don't know how well they would go over in a conservative country, which is why I saved my controversial books for Sankari until she had graduated from the program.

I DONT THINK I would go there.

Unfortunately, it's not an appropriate topic for a sponsor to discuss in a letter, and would cause the letter to be rejected by our field staff. I also wonder if your family member would want to be used as a cautionary tale?

I can assure you that in July 2008 our Board of Directors approved a Reproductive Health Policy – a policy aimed at providing sponsored youth (teenagers) with services geared to ensuring their reproductive health. This includes access to accurate information on contraception, access to pre- and post-natal care for pregnant teens, testing for HIV and STIs, and facilitating access to birth control methods. The policy is currently being implemented in all of our agencies around the world.

The curriculum used by our Youth Health Corps to discuss these issues is a comprehensive ABC model which discusses Abstinence, Be faithful (to your sexual partner and have fewer partners), and use Condoms (and contraceptives if you are sexually active). This model has been adapted from some very successful HIV prevention programs, and it works well for an adolescent audience which contains a mix of individuals that are sexually active and those that are not.

The Youth Health Corps focuses on the prevention of unwantedand untimed pregnancies through the provision of life skills development (leadership training, building communication skills and self-esteem, etc.)

By having this program/information available to all youth in our program, it allows the youth and their families to determine when and how the topic is broached and discussed.

Interesting and good to know. I would have likely mentioned it in a letter if it was important to me. Luckily I haven't. I would hate for my letter to be rejected and cause further delay. Are sponsors notified if letters are rejected?

Our goal is to get all the letters that arrive in our office into the hands of the children; but if there is ever a letter that creates a cause for concern, rest assured we would contact the sponsor.

Examples would be pornography, letters of a sexual nature, letters referring to drugs, alcohol, exactly why someone is in prison, evangelizing, criticism of the child or family, culturally inappropriate content (birth control would fall into this category).

Hope this info helps!

It helps alot. My children are in Latin America and mention God in their letters. In this case would it be ok for me to mention God as well?

God Bless You, I pray for you, etc. are fine, but we cannot fowards letters that try and convert a child/family or that tell them their religious beliefs are wrong.

Is birth control information provided to the parents of sponsored kids? That has to be very touchy, but some of the large families make you think...

Yeah, I wasn't thinking of mentioning birth control - I know how strict Catholics feel about it. I hadn't mentioned "waiting" because it seemed a difficult subject, but didn't think something about waiting to date until older to avoid any negative consequences would be a problem. I can see where avoiding it altogether might be better than trying to figure out how to mention it in a way that wouldn't be offensive.

CBrown - you also can't mention in a letter that you've sent the child something, plan to send the child something or plan to visit (until the airfare is purchased and detail given to CI). After the child receives things, it's fine. You can say you'd like to visit someday, but not that you're going to visit someday . . . I made the mistake of writing that once and my letter was rejected.

thanks for the good info debbie

while were on the subject of letter rejections and delays...I have a letter that I put in a DP. now that I think of it, im not sure if it was the best idea. the letter doesnt have to be translated- what happens when its sent in DP to the.child and not CI KC

Jesscoffee- I've done that. They still translate it at the field site. I actually think letters are sent to Kansas, possibly screened and then translated once sent to the site.

One of my sponsored children in the Philippines wrote me that she saw a film concerning aids and the HIV virus and her concern. So I believe the schools are addressing this touchy area.

Thanks, Debbie, for the information you have given us ... especially the info relating to comprehensive ABC model which Children International uses to educate their youth on this delicate issue.

I have not told my teen sponsored girls to "wait/use b.c." since it's verboten and also CI is getting the message across themselves. What I do think is acceptable (and haven't heard any complaints) is "Don't date anyone who treats you with disrespect--or your family, pets, or anyone who is less powerful than he is, because that brings out a person's true character," and "It's better to marry someone who is willing to do some housework if needed, in case the wife is sick, injured, etc. Someone who expects his sick wife to work like a dog while he doesn't lift a finger is not worth it. Personally I would rather be single my whole life than marry men like those." Another sponsor mentioned telling her young teen girls in India that "it's better to wait until 18 or older to marry, because the mother is more mature and ready for the job, less likely to have health problems, and can take better care of her kids with more education," knowing that her speech to the child was more for the benefits of the child's parents. I think all of these are acceptable.

You're absolutely correct. I recently wrote one of my girls and told her to make sure any guy she likes treats her with respect and has a plan/goal for his life. Luckily she is an intelligent girl and has done just that. I'm sure she is seeing young girls all around her becoming pregnant.