Forums / Make a Difference / Losing a sponsored Child

Losing a sponsored Child

9 posts
spazg8r
January 30, 2016
I received sad news this morning from CI.  One of my sponsored kids is no longer in the program.  CI promises a letter with details, which I hope will give some insight into what happened.  I'm just left very sad right now, wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent this.  It's frustrating being so far away and not being able to do something there, depending on CI to make my child's life better. Why do children in the program leave? 

Very, very sad.  I've only been sponsoring for a year, but I wanted to make a difference.  For this child, this must not have been possible.

Any tips for coming to terms with this?  I am really upset about losing one of my kids.

Missing user
February 1, 2016
So sorry this happened to you. The first girl I sponsored also left the program suddenly after I was sponsoring her for 5 1/2 years. It felt as though a relative passed away. I'm still not sure exactly why she left. This has happened to many of us. Maybe your child's parents had to move for a better job and therefore they will be better off even though they will be out of the CI area. Others leave the program for other reasons of the family unknown to us. Their leaving is no reflection on what you did or did not do. CI tries to keep them in the program for as long as they can, but they have to respect the wishes/decisions of the families. The best way to get past this for you, I've found, is to put your energies into making another child's life better.
Missing user
February 1, 2016
Sorry to hear about losing your sponsored child. The same thing happened to me in June. I sponsored a boy in Colombia for 9 years and one day when CI went to his house, they were gone. Nobody knew where they went. I still think about him often, and I still have photos and letters from him, which helps. Like Cindy said, though, it is not your fault that they left the program. Maybe they had to move to find work, or maybe they moved to be closer to family. 
Missing user
February 3, 2016
You know something dear community...? past year CI communicate me that the girl i sponsored almost 10 years had disapear from the place they had her registered with her family.
Her name is Katherine Lema Manya from Ecuador.
How can this be possible?
Its still hard for me to belive... she´s now almost 14 years and she never forgot to send me letters and photos.
I wish someday she came back to contact me. I had hard feelings about this.... and its not about the money, its about the fact.
Anyway... i hope she´s fine and safe.
Now CI asign me Nadie instead of Kath. I see im not alone in this sad situation.
Best regards to all of you from México
Missing user
February 4, 2016
Since 1996 I've had four children leave the program early. Reasons can vary--my first girl moved out of the service area so a family member could take a new job. My second girl's family moved without notifying CI, so I never found out why (though it was a few months after her father passed away, so that probably had something to do with it). The third girl's father also passed away--she moved in temporarily with her grandmother in the service area while her mother moved to another city to look for work, but eventually she went to live with her mother. My most recently-lost girl's family had to move to a bigger house because her mother had another baby.

Although it's always difficult for the Sponsor, a child leaving the program is sometimes actually a very good thing for them. I have contact now with my first girl, Joan, who has gone to college, is working, and will be getting married! The new job her family moved to take was life-changing for her. I hope your child has a similar story!
Missing user
February 11, 2016
I've had children leave the program early as well.  With the first girl, her mom was a single mother and disappeared - CI didn't know where they went.  My second child to leave was already in Columbia.  Her father had recovered from an injury and the family no longer wanted to comply with the requirements; however, they are in contact through FB and seem to be doing well.  My next teen from the Philippines left before she turned 19, but right after graduating high school.  CI told me that it is not uncommon for that to happen there as the teens hope to open a space for a younger child to be sponsored once they've finished school.  The most recent teen girl to leave was from India.  My understanding was that she left shortly after I was expecting her to get her scores back for the exam to attend 11th & 12th grades.  No real reason was given, but based on the timing, I do wonder if she didn't pass and her parents had her start working or made plans for her to marry :-(  On the upside, I've had two boys graduate the program after they turned 19 as well!  I have another girl who has finished high school in Guate and is on track to graduate this year and another Filipino girl who also finished high school and will graduate next year.  So, there are definitely success stories of children staying in the program to full graduation age . . . and even some, in more internet-connected countries especially, who stay in contact after leaving.

I too have chosen to select new children to sponsor when this happens.  While it's hard not to form some bond with the kids, I want to continue to help others.  With kids I've had for many years, I often sponsor siblings or other family members (one graduated boy is a sibling of a child I still sponsor, I sponsor 2 other sibling sets and I sponsor the toddler nephew of one of my teens), which I hope makes it less likely they'll leave!
Missing user
February 21, 2016 in reply to Missing user
Hey Brooke-OR, I just wanted to let you know that I believe one of your sponsored children (Abimelec) from Ecuador has a sibling named Nehemias that is available for sponsorship. He is just the cutest little boy you can imagine and is the spitting image of Abimelec. I know you enjoy sponsoring siblings and just thought I would let you know. I don't know if you have room for another, but maybe you could at least check out his profile. And if you can't take him on, maybe you could advocate for a friend to sponsor him, so you would have a traveling partner! Take care!
Missing user
February 21, 2016 in reply to Missing user
That is his brother!  I thought he had a sponsor before - maybe he lost his sponsor?  I don't have room to add another child right now, but I'm saving his link to check on him when Keisy graduates later this year.  I had been planning to add the youngest sister to keep my ratio of boys and girls even, but if he's enrolled and waiting, I'll take him and wait to add their sister later.  I'm not sure I can add the two girls I wanted to anyway since they will both be 2 years old.
Missing user
February 21, 2016 in reply to Missing user
Since there are a lot of great, involved sponsors on here, if anyone is looking for a boy right now, I can tell you that this family is great!  Their mom writes wonderful letters full of details, education is written about often and the family even sent me a photo recently through CI.  Abimelec's little brother has been waiting 91 days for a sponsor :-(

https://www.children.org/Sponsorship/Child/Details/78494
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