Why do sponsors give up older teens? Cancel Title is required

I am curious about the older kids​ (age 16, 17, etc.) who do not have sponsors.  Why are they given up? The answer I am given is "financial," and I get that.  Certainly there are times when someone cannot continue to sponsor, but the sheer amount of older kids really made me curious why people stop sponsoring.  I am not talking about the money. I don't doubt my child would be OK and could still be in CI, but I don't know how I could sever the ties made from years of letter writing and say I wouldn't be in contact anymore.  That would be so hard with a child that age. So, I wonder if there is something about the experience where the sponsor and child are not bonding, and maybe in that answer there is room for improvement?  Otherwise I would think it would be very rare and difficult for someone to stop sponsoring an older teen, who presumably has been in the program for years and has been exchanging letters that whole time, since teens don't get added to CI at that age but already had to have been in the program. 

Chances are the teens you see have had several sponsors and have been dropped for various reasons over their sponsored lifetime. It seems many people sponsor for a while and become bored, unenthused, or tired of sending the monthly fee and just decide to stop sponsoring without considering the child. They probably didn't write to their child or develop any kind of relationship with them. I've gotten the impression there are many sponsors who don't write to their child.

CindyV is right. I've learned a lot following this site for the past three years. Even here you see sponsors taking and dropping younger and older children after a few days, weeks or months, or even swapping them, presumably for someone more handsome, smiling, ​beautiful or interesting. A teen might have had 10+ sponsors, so there probably has never been much bonding either way. Long-time sponsors of older teens might indeed have sudden financial problems or even fall ill or die. They might also end their sponsorship because the child does something they consider unacceptable or because they feel the teen is in good hands with CI and they prefer to start helping a younger child in greater distress. I do believe sponsorship must be enjoyable and feasible for the sponsor in the long run. The real problem for CI and the kids are light-hearted serial sponsors. I've also understood from CI that the great majority of sponsors never write to their children. Perhaps out of a wish for privacy or a fear of bonding?

Elemay, I agree with your statement that the majority of sponsors don't even write to their children.  I was staggered when I learned this when I visited my kids in the Philippines this year.   I don't think it's fear of bonding, though.  I suspect it's just someone who wants to pay the monthly fee and be done with it.  Then, without any bonding with the child, it's not hard to just drop the sponsorship.  They just don't "get it", and don't know what they're missing.   I told all my kids that I'll be their forever sponsor.  I know some had worried that I'd get tired of helping them.

As already mentioned there are various factors as to why a sponsorship will be dropped. The little ones are so cute & adoreable and as soon they are becoming teens the cuteness is no longer there. But I like the older kids , they are thanking me for everything and are considering me as part of their families. I have been with CI since 2006 and my longest girI I sponsor with them is now 16 years old and I had her since she was 6 years old (my girls are 16, 14, 13, 9, 8 & 7).I had the chance visiting some of my Filippino girls twice and I tell you they are so pretty in real life and appreciating everything you are doing. They really want to hear from you. I know my 2 oldest girls from The Philippines & Colombia are very busy with studying and I am getting told off from my girls for not writing to them that often how I used to do. 

When I went on my 2nd visit to the Philippines, my child's younger brother had many questions for me about his sponsor. Of which I of course had no answer. He asked me why she never wrote. I guess of the 4 kids in the family who were sponsored I was the only one who ever had. I am going off a bit a of faded memory here but when I got back I contacted CI to see if they could contact his sponsor "Paula" for me. Just to let her know the child would be leaving sponsorship soon and it would mean the world to him to get one letter. Long story short I got a reply from Deb stating she had dropped the child a few years earlier and they were letting him finish the program thinking "Paula" was still his sponsor. Given his age they were not hopeful he would get a new sponsor. Since then I think I have noticed more older kids on the site but don't know for sure. Maybe CI is making more of an effort to get them one last sponsor.  My overall feeling on this is I don't understand why older kids are not picked.  I think its a great opportunity to kick the tires on sponsorship to see if you like it.  If you sponsor a 17 year old and in 2 years decide sponsorship is not for you that is ok. You just don't renew when you child leaves the program. However if you like it after 2 years grab a younger child and enjoy almost 2 decades of watching that child grow.

Your post made me think of another post I had read. It suggested that some people might be allowed to write letters to the children who never got letters from their sponsors. While I can see that this might be problematic for the child (and sponsor), in the case of a youth who has no sponsor and is unlikely to be sponsored again, or will not be added to to the waiting list due to age, this may be a more viable idea. There was even the suggestion that they could be allowed to receive a small EG. Also that the person writing might decide to sponsor the youth themselves. I thought that CI had said that they were looking into this idea. I do realize this could make more work for the CIKC and the staff, but it might be worth considering even if there were limits and rules involved.

Yes, other programs have this option. You get assigned a kid and it is all exactly the same as sponsoring one, but you are not paying (the official sponsor is). You are the writer and can encourage the kid and make them feel special. If the official sponsor stops, you get first choice to be that child's sponsor. 

In this case though there wouldn't be any sponsors because the child is  not sponsored and it is unlikely that they would be before they graduate from the program, most likely due to their age.  Because it would only be for a short time, it may be worth a trial, just to see if this is feasible. Either way it's not a bad idea. Children aren't told when they have been dropped by their sponsor.  If a new sponsor is found they can then be notified that they have a new sponsor.  I wouldn't be surprised if some of the writers decide to  sponsor the youth for his/her time remaining in the program. Especially if an incentive were offered by CI. Maybe a reduction in the monthly fees? Better for CI to get something than nothing. Just a thought!

I hope that all my sponsored kids think of me as a family member. I'd never drop a family member.

I do have to stop signing into CI though. This time just cost me another $32 per month.

I hope CI will consider the idea of allowing writing buddies for older kids who have lost their sponsor.  The monetary help is a great thing, but letters are a way for kids to get some emotional support and encouragement too.  Intangible things,but especially important for kids living in an impoverished environment.  I also think it could be a good way of getting people to see the benefit of letter-writing and sponsorship in general.  True, it is some extra work on CI's part, but I think it could generate some goodwill and interest in the program too, as well as supporting the kids' emotional well-being. 

When my last child graduated, I chose another child who was already in her teens.  For me, it is easier to write to the older kids than to the teeny-tiny ones.  Plus you get to watch them mature and turn into young adults.  Sad that so many get dropped - or never get a letter even when they are sponsored. 

This has been an enlightening discussion. I had also wondered about the older kids. My first sponsored child, Belenia, was assigned to me when she was 8, and I had her until she graduated out of the program. She is now in her 20s, married, and expecting her first child and I continue to watch her mature on Facebook.

I have continued sponsoring. At some point, after some unemployment when I found a part-time job with no future job security, I wanted to sponsor again and so chose the oldest child available so that my commitment wouldn't be so long. I thought about how they had been dropped and maybe not ever received a letter, and I felt it to be very rewarding. I was not going to drop this kid unless I ended up living on the street! I think she ended up moving away before she aged out of the program. I feel I made a big difference in her life. Since then, whenever I am ready to look for a new child, I start with the oldest ones. They write better letters, too ;-)

I will have to admit, had Minakshi's sister not meant so much to me, I probably wouldn't have an older child.  I was just drawn to the younger ones.  They can do that puppy eyes thing that pulls on my heart strings so forcefully.  However, now that I've been Minakshi's sponsor for nearly a year, I have a very strong feeling that when she graduates, she will be "replaced" by another older child.  Something clicked while sponsoring Minakshi.  The young 'uns still get me, no doubt about it, but the older ones do as well.

I purposely pick older children to sponsor because of this.  It's easy to love an adorable little kid, but it's much harder for someone to love a pre-teen or teenager. However, those teen years are crucial for determining the paths of their lives.

How are you still able to keep in contact with a sponsored child that was taken off the program ? I sponsored a boy for 16 years and when he was old enough to be off the program no information was given to me to stay in contact with him. I was heart broken and have no idea how to reach him besides traveling to Ecuardor to try and find him. 

Anne, have you looked on facebook? My 1st child found me that way. His area closed before he was of age so we couldn't exchange information

I agree it's a good way to start sponsorship. that's what i did. After that i decided to sponsor another girl with another organization ( I live in Canada). i can see that the older one writes too me much more regularly and she seems so sweet! My only regret is that i won't have a lot of time of sponsorship with her and I plan to go to the philippines to see her before she "graduates". 

I just started sponsoring a 17 year old name Hilarion in the Domincan Republic. I felt the same way as you, why would someone just leave a child hanging? And then it's harder for them to get sponsors. I am very familiar with the stuggle that foster children have in the USA when they are trying to find homes for the older kids and seeing all the teens that need sponsorship through CI really touched me.

me too! I just started sponsoring Hilario 17 years old in DR. I'm excited!

There could be a number of reasons that older teens are left without sponsors.  There were several children that would have effectively been left without a sponsor because their sponsor was older and passed away before they graduated the program; however, she had made provisions for her kids' fees and found sponsors willing to continue writing to the children in the event of her passing.  There are also sponsors who've dropped kids because they didn't feel a connection to them or the child became pregnant or dropped out of school.  If the child wasn't actually going to escape poverty, the sponsor felt it wasn't a good use of their money anymore.

I think CI told us that something like 18% of sponsors write to their kids (I could have this confused with the number of multiple child sponsors though).  For the rest, it's effectively a tax donation that comes with some cute pictures and letters occasionally.  Which seems crazy to those of us who write, especially after visiting and learning first-hand how valued the letters are and how special the kids feel when they have an active sponsor.  But for tax donation sponsors, ending a sponsorship for financial reasons or because they're retiring or they've had another child, etc, etc probably doesn't carry any specific thought of "what will the child think when I quit?" or that it may be more difficult for the child to find a new sponsor as a teen.

Those are likely reasons for active sponsors too.  If you start sponsoring when a child is young, depending on your relative age, having a child of your own could impact finances, suffering an unexpected accident or injury that reduces family income, your spouse dying or being injured or becoming ill, reaching retirement age or being pushed into early retirement, etc.  I think it is difficult for people who start sponsoring young children to see it in the context of a commitment for up to 17 years (for a 2 year old) and to plan accordingly.  For example, I know that I will stop sponsoring young children when I am elderly and it seems highly probable that I couldn't give them 17 more years.  But, I didn't think this way until I lost two children after a bad car accident left me on disability and then unemployment for a total of 9 months.  At 23 years old, it simply hadn't occurred to me that I could suffer such a drastic loss of income.  Now, as a financial controller, I only sponsor the number of children that I could afford on disability or unemployment.  I don't consider either one likely, but I want to be certain that I can at least keep my sponsorships, even if EGs were no longer possible.

I am quite new and have found some of what I'm reading here dismaying but not surprising.

 Last week, when I started, I let CI choose a child for me, they chose a seven year old in Ecuador; the next three I chose myself: Three older, all red flagged as "most needy," two twelve, one sixteen years old, all in Zambia.

It was my intent to choose young people who might be overlooked because of their age, and choose those who need help now. And I skewed to male too, because the data suggests that overall -- females are more readily sponsored or adopted.

And I didn't target the most "adorable" because I was an ugly pre-teen with braces, acne, bifocals and overweight, nerd smart, but a zero on the popularity scale -- I'm sure you see why I'm especially supportive of young people who are not TV-perfect...

Yes, I am mindfully trying to do as much good as possible.  Moreover I intend to be their new cheerleader --
I don't even have all of their packages yet, but I'm playing around on my computer designing stationery that reflects their interests i.e. a soccer illustration etc.

And I'm ordering a windowpane photo frame for four photos, I'm in, all in.

So despite the often grim news we hear about uninvolved sponsors or thinly-involved sponsors, I join you -- the ones who energetically embrace this grand adventure in global support and global citizenship.

I am glad to be a part of THIS group -- sponsors who do more than shell out $32 amonth.

Most of the sponsors on MSC are probably the most dedicated, but with about 250,000 children sponsored thru CI they represent a very small percentage of the total sponsors. CI (or any charity) could not function without the contributions of those sponsors who pay the monthly fees, even if they do nothing else. To me, sponsorship itself is the greatest gift a sponsor gives to a child living in poverty. It's great when they write, send an EG, mail a direct package, or visit. But in reality, I am grateful for every sponsor who keeps their commitment  to long term sponsorship. I have noticed more sponsors on MSC seem (to me) to be selecting older children when one of theirs leaves the program. This helps both the youth and CI.

Great comments!  I agree with the sentiment, but also, as posted before, understand that CI needs the support of anyone willing to pay to sponsor a child.  It helps if they are willing to write and I wish more of them who didn't want to write would find somebody who did, but anything is better than nothing.  And I think your children are all beautiful!  I too went through an ugly duckling phase and have chosen several of my kids without ever seeing a photo - just called CI with criteria for an older child in school who I could help finish or a family member of a current child.

I think it's wonderful that CI will still list older teens as available for sponsorship. Most other organizations will not even try to find a sponsor for children over about age 13 if their prior sponsor drops them. I think teens need and benefit greatly from having a caring sponsor to write and encourage them. It is a shame if teens are dropped simply because they have gotten older and get traded in for a younger child. To me, that would be so hard after having years of building a relationship with them and being a part of their growing up. I suppose if it were the case where the sponsor just sent in a payment each month and that's it, there wouldn't be the emotional attachment aspect involved, but if that's the case then why even get a different child? I guess I mostly don't understand that issue, but I am glad there are some sponsors who "get it" and are willing to take on an older teen. That would be also ideal for a sponsor looking for a shorter term commitment. Again, big thumbs up to CI for including the teens in the children available to sponsor!

I'm a new sponsor to CI, but I have sponsored children in the past through a different organization.  I think most go in not expecting to have to pull out of a sponsorship.  I was one of the unlucky ones that had to do so.  Job loss during the recession while I was 6 months pregnant was a devastating blow to our finances.  We were left wondering how we could even afford clothes and diapers for the new baby, let alone keep four sponsorships going.  I cried when I called the organization to pull out of my sponsorships.  Luckily, I found a friend willing to sponsor the child most in need, but I wasn't able to find sponsors for the others.  I did reconnect with one of the children on Facebook after she reached adulthood.  She is doing very well and still thinks fondly of my time as her sponsor.  I was just chiming in to say that not all of us who have to end sponsorships do so callously.

As the sponsor of several (older, mostly) kids, I'd like to comment.  I prefer the older ones.  They have interesting insights, it's a shorter commitment if I run into $$ problems (which I have... but they are graduating out, whew!)
re: kids being dropped, I once asked CI why.  They said the most common reason was the sponsor having $$ crises.  There was a recession at the time, so it was frequent. /. A heartbreaking post from an elderly couple said their health insurance premiums DOUBLED, and they had to drop about a dozen kids!

Older kids specifically: maybe the reasons are different.  / Paying for education (higher) is optional. For those who do, it gets more expensive w/ higher grades. I now "stagger" the kids' grades, or tuition due dates, to minimize this.  As someone said, I had an awkward, harsh adolescence. So that "not kid, not adult" age group appeals to me. / Once while browsing, I spotted a GORGEOUS girl. Like a model.  But I reasoned that she would get sponsored easily. I picked a cynical-looking MN girl, age 12.  With education and hope, she blossomed into an academic powerhouse (and btw, became quite beautiful).

Maybe some figure the kid is "launched" and will end up okay?  // Re: those who do not write.  It is too bad. However, someone who pays monthly dues, but just that, is still helping the child, and the strength of the program, and I bless them. / That said, I do think the sponsor misses a lot. And without a personal connection, it would be easier to drop the commitment. //. As I see it: Kids who are still on track in adolescence are survivors. I like to pick one of these, esp. one who seems unusually academic, or determined. They made it this far. Now I get to enjoy clearing the track to the finish line 😀

Oh, and then a shorter wait before I can sponsor the NEXT kid!  🎵

I am so sorry you had to deal with all those crises. I hope you are all right now.  You definitely did all you could.